3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize