their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
