The brown eye won't let me do that either.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
