new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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