But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You took a bar mat shot.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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