There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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