dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
