I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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