8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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