no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
