I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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