I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
My friends, they love my intelligence
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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