Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
