office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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