I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
