I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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