Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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