So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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