She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
