We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
