Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
