So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
