I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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