Plan B is the new Plan A
Don't make out with my wife yet
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
