On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
