Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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