My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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