Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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