What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
