Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
