if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
