I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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