so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
