So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
