I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
