Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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