i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
