he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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