spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize