Well douche your snatch and let's go!
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
