Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize