Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
