Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I would ride that face into the sunset
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
