My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Randomize
