the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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