Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
