hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
