Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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