yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Randomize
