like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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