Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
