Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
