the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
