If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
