Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
