The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
