i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
